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Reflections of an Ordinary Mystic – Part 3

I recently stumbled across a quote by Aaran Solh that speaks volumes about tuning into your authentic self. Solh writes: “In order to follow your inner voice at all times, you have to master two things: 

  1. Distinguishing your inner voice from other voices

  2. Finding the courage to follow it

This quote spoke to me because since a young age, I believed I had to tend to the needs of those around me. Stating my opinions and following my inner voice was frowned upon, particularly if it differed from the prevailing narrative. I always felt like I had to change myself to be liked, or to fit into the world around me. I used to change my clothes, hairstyle, behaviour, and my friends just to be accepted…to feel of value. I was like  a chameleon — altering myself with the surrounding environment to survive. Living a chameleon-like existence wore down my intuition and prevented me from making sound decisions for my highest good. 

I tried anticipating others’ needs rather than listening to my own. The more I could please someone, the better I would feel about myself. Tending to the needs of others is very kind and generous, but should not be done at the expense of one’s self. You can’t be of use to anyone unless you’ve taken care of your own needs first. Some would call this selfish. I call this courageous. But more on this later. 

Meditation has been invaluable because it has taught me how to tune into my inner voice. Sitting in silence feeds the spirit. As Buddhist teacher Vimala Thakr puts it: in silence we “live in the clarity of knowing who [we] are.” I began my meditation practice at the start of covid. I would find a quiet indoor space, free from my device, where I could just be…without any distractions. I simply sat, first for 1 minute, then up to 20 minutes, where I would listen to the sound of my breath. I would let thoughts float in and out, first validating the thought, then letting them go.

 My inner voice at first was quite frantic: “you should be spending time with your family”, “the dog is waiting to play,” “this is boring,” “you have stuff to do…what are you doing just sitting here?” On and on went my monkey mind. But I carried on, despite the rumblings of my subconscious. At first I got angry with myself for objecting to taking a meditation minute. But the more angry I became, the less serene I was, and therefore less likely to meditate.

So I changed my approach to one of self love and compassion. Instead my responses to my negative self became: “You’re right, Luigi does need to play, but he can wait a few minutes,” and “It’s OK that I’m not actually doing something…I deserve to take a time out,” etc. 

When I kept up with feeding myself loving thoughts, the critical negative voice ceased and was replaced with a compassionate voice that routinely reminded me: “Liz, it’s time to meditate.”

I haven’t looked back since, and now meditation is apart of my daily morning ritual. It has helped me to tune into my needs, as well as my own energy signature, which I can best describe as gentle golden glitter floating in and around me 🙂

Additionally, meditation has helped me to respond to life’s stressors, rather than to react. Just like I learned not to react to my negative voice, I have learned not to be reactive to challenging people, places, or things. Instead, I get curious about why I may be feeling challenged.

Distinguishing my own inner voice from that of others has been a long journey and an exercise in letting go of people pleasing. I have learned to tune into my gut and ask myself a number of questions: “What do I get out it?” “Does it cord me in a dysfunctional, co-dependent relationship?” “Does this make me truly happy?” 

From an early age, I was praised when I did selfless things for others. I soon learned that if I put someone first, I’d receive a lot of positive attention. This need to receive love is what makes us human. However, when we’re doing it compulsively and losing sight of ourselves, that’s when power imbalances and dysfunctional relationships happen. 

It takes a lot of courage to leave a person or a situation that isn’t right for you. I’ve left a number of toxic relationships throughout this lifetime. It took me awhile, and I often stayed due to fear and guilt. Fear told me that I didn’t deserve  better, and that I’d be lonely if I left. It also warned me that I’d be harmed in some way if I left. I also felt guilty that I’d be a terrible person for leaving because they somehow “needed” me. 

Fear, and guilt, while negative feelings, are also catalysts for change. Fear is a teacher, guiding us toward true our potential. I recommend getting curious about your fears, so you can face them head on. Journaling has helped me investigate my fears, one at a time. This process has helped to get a handle on fear.

Guilt prompts us to face our actions and the consequences so we can get clear on our motives, and what we could have done differently. 

Guilt is a very uncomfortable feeling, but it’s catalyzing force is the ability to motivate us to improve ourselves.  

Reiki Therapy helps immensely when moving through difficult feelings and provides one with incredible insight regarding certain situations. Reiki shows you your own worth and authentic self by helping you to tune into your own inner voice with love and courage.  

With Gratitude,

Liz xxx 

Next Steps

Learn more about Reiki healing in Vancouver at Catalyst Healing here.

Join me on monthly Full Moon Meditations where we tap into your inner voice, and Authentic Self here

Catalyst Healing

Feel the heart and soul of Reiki, and the Akashic Records in Vancouver at Catalyst Healing. I offer a wide range of healing practice for adults, families, and animals. If you are looking for a natural way to reduce stress, promote relaxation, improve your health, find answers to difficult questions, and raise your vibration, I encourage you to contact me. Book a Reiki session or class, join my Full Moon Meditation Circle, or try an Akashic Records Reading. I am confident that you will feel lighter, calmer and full of renewed purpose. Contact me today to receive a free twenty minute consultation.

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